Writing

Emily Drouillard

Category: Uncategorized

John Oliver Monologue

John Oliver:

Hello, and welcome to Last Week Tonight. I’m John Oliver, and tonight we are going to start out talking about politics.

I know, surprise surprise. But what else is there to even talk about? This election cycle is continuously striving to out do itself each and every day. It just won’t settle. It’s like special effects in movies. They began as small, practical effects that brought exhilaration to what you were watching. But as time went on, we could tell a lot of it was really fake.

So, technology advanced, we demanded our special effects get bigger, get better, appear more real to us. And that has left us where we are today. While it would be very naive to even pretend politics hasn’t always been the shit-slinging scandal sanctuary we know and love it to be, this time we have somehow actually gone above and beyond that.

The old elections are like the effects of E.T flying in front of the moon, or casting spells in Harry Potter. We know it’s fake, but it’s part of the game, part of the mystique, it’s simple. 2016, on the other hand, is more like an enormous C4 and gasoline atomic bomb Transformers orgy led by Michael Bay if he had a worse coke habit than he probably already does. Read the rest of this entry »

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Kimmy Solves A Murder! Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt spec script

Kimmy Solves A Murder!
   Emily Drouillard

ACT ONE

COLD OPEN
FADE IN:
INT. DARK THEATRE - DREAM
We start black and PAN UP to a backlit dark stage with a man
sitting at a DESK. SPOTLIGHT turns on; dim at first, showing
TITUS at desk in a suit with white wig.
Titus begins snapping fingers and to SENSUAL JAZZ MUSIC.
                    TITUS
          I’m just a Bill on Capitol Hill /
          Tryna make myself some stacks / But
          when I tire and there’s no one left
          to fire / I like to wind down with
          some Sax...
Titus pulls out SAXOPHONE from desk drawer. Lights
illuminate entire stage, set to look like OVAL OFFICE.
                    TITUS
          But a saxophone alone / Is a mighty
          sad tone / So to join me on
          harmonica / I call Monica!
MONICA ENTERS from STAGE LEFT and ZOOM IN on her face. As
she walks over while seductively tooting HARMONICA, PAN OUT
to show her approaching AL NADAR (CRAIG ROBINSON?) dressed
as Clinton in desk chair. PAN to Titus, now dressed like
HILARY CLINTON, with look of terror on his face.
                    TITUS
               (Screams and rifles through
               bag) WHERE IS MY HOT SAUCE?
’DREAMY’ FADE TO:
INT. TITUS’S BEDROOM - MORNING
OVERHEAD VIEW of Titus in bed, tangled in sheets, wakes up
panicking and sweaty.
          TITUS
Why didn’t I get that role?? I was
meant to play America’s First Black
President! Damn you, Al Nadar, role
thief!

CUT TO:

THEME SONG
SCENE ONE
INT. VOORHEES KITCHEN - MORNING
JACQUELINE enters kitchen dramatically.
                    JACQUELINE
          There’s been a MURDER!
                    KIMMY
               (Panicking)
          Jacqueline! What happened? Are you
          ok??

(Beat)

               (Whispers)
          Why’d you do it?
                    JACQUELINE
          No, no, it’s actually ju--
                    KIMMY
          --I can call up Lillian, I’m sure
          she knows someone. And how do you
          feel about the name ’January
          Jones’? That sounds pretty real.
                    JACQUELINE
          That’s a real name, Kimmy.
                    KIMMY
          What? Okay, let’s go with ’October
          Smith’ for now. I can drive the car
          if you want to do an OJ car chase
          -- no idea why it’s name after
          juice though.
                    JACQUELINE
          I haven’t committed a murder, I’m
          planning one!
                    KIMMY
          Okay, less urgent, but still pretty
          bad, Mrs. Voorhees.
                    JACQUELINE
          Oh, calm down, Patrick Bateman.
          Real murder is very tacky. I’m
          planning a murder mystery party! Read the rest of this entry »

Researched Proof That Waiting for Godot is Funny: Proving My Mother Wrong

Samuel Beckett’s play Waiting for Godot is one that the mother of the author of this essay detested. She saw the 2009 Broadway production starring the famed actors Nathan Lane and John Goodman. Her remarks to her daughter condemned it for being boring, hard to follow, and ‘kind of weird. ’ How could two actors of such comedic esteem work on a production so unfulfilling? Upon reading it in her college Cultural Foundations III class, the author was astounded to realize that the play was not only enjoyable, but also hilarious. She struggled to understand how one play could be seen so differently until she watched one of her favorite humorous videos online and realized it paralleled a scene from Beckett’s play. It all became clear. Waiting for Godot is not humorous in a conventional or typically commercial way. It is a comedy built on irony, absurdist humor, and repetition. The play is classified as a tragicomedy, and fully lives up to its comedic title. Despite having heavy topics, Beckett uses humor to make even situations that would not seem the least bit funny into something that can be laughed at.

Riddled with inappropriate jokes, much repetition, and nonsensical dialogue, the play is still relevant today and the witticisms still poignant and funny because – like the first act of this play – jokes are recycled. The humor in Waiting for Godot is slightly absurd and not typical humor, but the play is comedic beyond its time. Despite being written over 60 years ago, it uses types of humor that are heavily influential today. While the Bard may be known for dubbing the play as the thing in Hamlet, it would not be unbelievable if Beckett declared the joke as the thing in Godot. For the purposes of brevity and not turning a sophomore year college paper into a debate over what humor is and what even makes something funny, things that are deemed to be ‘funny’ or are described as such with other words that also mean funny are things that are seen as funny by the author. If the reader finds none of the subsequent evidence for the comedic prowess to be humorous, then the reader is invited to view the entire paper as a form of irony. If that is unsatisfactory, then
the author apologizes that the reader must go through a life so devoid of light.

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The Great Juvenile Gothic: A Series of Unfortunate Events and its Relation to Children’s Gothic Fiction

The tridecalogy A Series of Unfortunate Events is one of the most gothic children’s’ book series in print and was a part of the growth of the genre of gothic literature for children. The first novel in the series, The Bad Beginning, was published in 1999, when the movement toward more macabre children’s works was gaining strength. The book is full of both gothic plot and reference, making it a prime example of the ways in which the usually adult-driven literary thirst crossed over to become one also felt by the young. The novels, thanks to their popularity, are in part responsible for the domination of the current children’s literature market by gothic tales.

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